I became ashamed of myself after my last post about the happiness project. It seemed there were signs and messages around me that said happiness is serving others, happiness is fulfilling a purpose, happiness is “JOY” Jesus, Others and then Yourself. I’m not saying all those things aren’t true, I was just pointing out I really enjoyed The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin in terms of an awakening of my own gratitude and peace. My journey for my own genuine happiness translated as selfish in the eyes of some. It seemed when I thought I would have support for the blog , I had some criticisms. I think constructive criticism is helpful and I’m open minded. But I also like to think we live in a world where women are here to build women up instead of pull each other down. For all the women out there I’ve judged I am sorry. That is a 2020 goal of mine, to judge less. I was judged and did not feel good about it. This is not a revelation, but a testament of commitment to judge less and accept more.
In regard to my happiness project, yes , yes I do feel more mindful about my own happiness, and the goals I associated with this quest. In a capacity, I do feel energized, willing and capable in ways I otherwise did not.
The “night time tidy” she suggested was a helpful way to close down my night and wake up to a better day.
When I was in doubt I made lists.
I drank water.
I listened to loud music.
I communicated.
I tackled Disney world and had the time of my life.
I feel very good about the holidays this year. They were full of family and love. I could not have asked for more.
I handled the six year anniversary of losing mom.
The dog business has been rewarding, lucrative, and fun.
And then the craziest thing happened to me. . .
Before I explain this crazy thing , I need to briefly explain what this has to do with the happiness project. I spent a significant time in my life working toward my career in education. Teaching youth was a passion of mine and a huge part of my identity. I had my dream job when I went into the coma. BC (before coma) I was sincerely happy. When I was let go from teaching AC (after coma) I became a version of myself I did not recognize. That was a challenge for me. It had taken me years to come to terms with this loss of career and subsequently losing a huge portion of my identity. I was no longer happy because I did not know who I was any longer.
I set out for the journey of happiness at the beginning of 2019, and wrote about it in October of 2019. I had come to terms with the title of stay at home mom , I had not only found acceptance but also joy within my work and my daily tasks. I knew I was supposed to be grateful, it just took longer to actually get there. I had to dig deeper for my identity but I liked what I was finding. But just when I’m finding myself content , the craziest thing happened.
Ok it wasn’t that crazy, but it kind of funny. A former employer called me. They said come work with us again. I went in for an interview, accepted the job on the spot, and started that week. It’s not the same job as my past work, but it’s in the same field as my degree and that feels good. Once I found acceptance, my world changed again. I feel gracious and honored they thought of me. Of course I accepted.
So now you know why I haven’t been so quick to make more posts. I’ve been exhausted. But a good exhausted where you sleep good and feel like you’re helping the world.
When you trust and keep moving forward amazing things can happen.
So now I need to apply habits I practiced for the energy vitality portion of my happiness project to life now that I have a job.
The next chapter of the happiness project focuses on marriage. I’m curious where this will take me. Tony knew who he married so … haha. Stay tuned.
Love,
Amanda